Cycle 2; Week 1 "Strength"

So here we are in the middle of our second week of our second cycle and we're still recovering from week one. Stuart  had a pretty long week one(2/15-19/16). Just to recap each "cycle" for Stuart includes one full week of chemo (Mon-Fri) everyday for about 7hrs a day, and then two weeks of no chemo treatments. So like I said that leaves us with a long first week of chemotherapy.

This basically sums up the way Stuart and I felt about week 1. Haha!

It started off OK  Stuart had lots of visitors this week. His Dad spent the majority of the day Monday with us at the HCI. A couple hours on Tuesday and then also came back to see him again on Friday with his little sister Taylor.

Stuart and his Dad Larry Monday morning at the HCI

Then Stu's mom flew into town on Monday(2/15/16) and came to see him for about the last hour of the day. On Tuesday Cindy(Stu's mom) took Stu to his chemo infusion. Tuesday proved to be kind of a rough day for Stuart there were a few hiccups that day. Apparently his machine kept beeping and he was getting pretty anxious about it. It turned out to be that the machine was detecting little air bubbles in the Etopicide chemo. so it kept on beeping even though everything was actually OK. Anyway, the beeping of the machine made Stu pretty nervous and he started having a strange pinching feeling in his heart. This worried all of us because it continued a little into the evening and we ended up calling the doctors office and they set up an EKG and Chest XRAY for the next day. Then that night when I gave Stu his blood thinners his "port" that he just had implanted the Friday before started to bleed. I called and spoke with a doctor and she told us not to worry and that the bleeding was probably connected to the blood thinner shot. She told us that she would have someone come and look at his port the next day just to make sure that everything was looking alright and recovering well from the surgery.

Stuart and his Mom, Cindy, on Tuesday

So, Stuart and I went to his appointment on Wednesday but before we got things started we got his chest XRAY and they cleaned up his port access and he got the EKG. Once the doctors looked at the results we were given the OK to get things rolling for that day. All of his results came back normal and the doctor checked his port and everything looked good. We also had a visit from one of the clinic doctors that work at the HCI. She was really kind and checked Stu out. She said that everything looked and sounded good. She also said that she thought that the "pinching" Stuart was feeling in his heart was likely caused by anxiety. She recommended that he get some Adavan in his IV before receiving any of his chemo drugs. The Adavan calms Stuarts nerves before the chemo drugs and fortunately it has really worked at taking away the pinching feeling in his heart and calming Stuarts nerves. He also started to find ways to relax and calm down during his chemo appointments one way is by listening to classical music and just having some peace and quiet.  We were really relieved to hear that things looked normal with his heart. For awhile we were worried that the chemotherapy was causing problems with it and that really scared us because we just didn't know what we would do.

This pic pretty much sums up the fear we felt on that day.

Fortunately, the rest of the week went pretty well. We went to his appointments and came home without any major problems. Friday they gave Stuart an at home injector of "neulasta" which is a drug that helps Stuarts white blood cell count stay up. It is a really interesting little device because they just put it on his stomach and a catheter inserted itself under his skin which Stuart said he could hardly feel. He said it just felt like someone barely flicked him in the stomach. Then the following day the drug injected into his system. Things went really well with this because the drug didn't cause him so much pain. We figured out that he needed to take Claritin about a half hour before it injected and the device injected the neulasta really slowly. It took about 45minutes total for the neulasta to inject into his system, that was much better than having to drive three times to SLC to get a shot of neupagin. I wont lie though week one took its toll on Stu. The way Stuart looked from day one to day five was a pretty drastic difference. By day five of chemo Stu was really tired and pretty weak. But he's been getting some rest and little by little he is coming around.

  Like I said earlier Cindy got into town on Monday of last week and has been here for about a week and a half now. It has been so nice to have her here to visit and of course the girls have loved spending time with her too. She took the girls for a solid 3 days last week which was really good for Stu and I we were able to catch  up on some sleep and didn't have to worry about getting the girls to a babysitter and picking them up tired and lets be honest a little cranky ha.  I missed those sweet little girls the second they left. It was nice to sleep but I was pretty anxious to have them home, and I appreciated them all the more when they got here. Chloe was happy to see us but Avi had so much fun with her Grandma that she cried when Cindy left to go back to Stuart's Grandma and Grandpa Roger's. I'm glad she feels so comfortable with her grandma I think over and over again how grateful we are to have such a great support of people who love our girls and take such great care of them while we are going through these treatments.

One other way that Stu is finding to relax is by playing piano. I have loved listening to him play. :)

So far this week has been much lower key. Stu felt really good Monday but is back to feeling pretty weak as of yesterday (Tuesday2/23/16) and today. On Monday Stuart got a call from his oncologist. She said that she wanted to get another EKG and an ECHO done on his heart. We did those today as well as a CT scan. We should know the results of these tests soon but hopefully everything comes back clear. The good news is that the oncologist also said that his tumor markers had gone back down which is a pretty good sign that the chemo is working. So hopefully we get good news when we get the CT results back later this week.

When I was thinking about a thought  I could share today I thought of the scripture in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." This week especially we have felt less than strong. We have felt worried, worn out and weak. Especially my sweetheart Stuart. Watching him look and feel weak has been the HARDEST thing I've ever had to endure. But even in those moments of weakness we have been strengthened through Christ. The strength hasn't necessarily come from within ourselves but it has come through other people. We can feel the strength of your prayers and we are always so grateful for your words and thoughts of kindness. We need your support now more than ever. I truly believe that Christ uses us, his followers, to "strengthen" others. For myself so many times a simple you can do it has taken me from the point of wanting to give up to being able to continue forward. This is the hardest thing we have ever done but with the support of you all and of our Savior we truly do receive strength. You, our friends and our family, are the ones who pick us up.

For me, another source of strength comes from my sweetheart. He strengthens me even though he is the one going through all of the physical treatments of chemo and scans. His attitude and love uplift me. I am so very grateful to have him for my husband and to know him the way that I do. I'm sure that those of you who know Stuart know exactly what I mean when I say that he is one of the best people I have ever known. Through all of this my love for him has grown more than I ever imagined it could. I have prayed for him harder than I ever have before and I have felt God's love for him. He truly is an outstanding son of God, and I am SO grateful to be his wife for time and for all eternity.

Cycle 1; Week 3 "Up's and Down's"

This is Stuart again. The 3rd week has had its ups and downs. First off, the best part about this week is how I have been feeling. Because I haven't had chemo in a while I have had my strength, my appetite has been up, and I have felt like myself for the most part.  I've been very cautious whenever going out (which I don't do very often) due to a low white blood cell count, by wearing a protective mask so I don't get sick.

My hair loss is something we are still getting used to. It all started around Saturday 2/6 when my beard started coming out in clumps. I would pinch my beard, pull, and a clump of whiskers came out, it was the strangest thing. Then a couple days later my hair started doing the same thing. I decided to shave my head in stages so I didn't terrify my daughters. First I buzzed my hair short and I shaved my beard. When I came out of the bathroom both my daughters looked at me wide eyed, and were very surprised (Little Chloe was a little frightened, Avi just sort of giggled) but they warmed up to it fast. My hair was still coming out in clumps, so two days later I completely shaved my head. The girls are OK with it, Avi asks everyday "Daddy, can I touch your bald head?". When Chloe touched my head she got frightened, and jerked her hand back, a lot like if she had just touched a snake or a slimy stingray at the zoo...

Me my bald head and my girls...

In a way I feel like Charlie Brown. If it was Halloween time I would make a perfect model for pumpkin carving..."If we draw the eyes like this, and the nose like this, and the mouth like this..."

"Thank you Charlie Brown, you were a perfect model"

It was great seeing my old man. He's been coming to Utah lately to see me as well as my grandma Donna. Grandma isn't doing to well, her lungs are starting to shut down. She's in the ICU right now, she could get better (we're hoping!) or she could get worse. Really glad I got to see her a couple times before I got started with chemo, we continue praying for her.

Dad and A-bird

Dad and Chloe-Bee

The week was great, but I won't lie Friday, Saturday and Sunday were kind of rough. Friday Chels and I went to the HCI to have my minor surgery to have the port put in my chest. The port is extremely nice because I won't have to get poked anymore. I won't have to get poked for IV's or for drawing blood. And blood clots won't be an issue anymore because the port is accessed in a large main vein, instead of small superficial veins in my forearms. Plus I'm still on blood thinners, Chels gives me a shot in the stomach every morning and evening and she's getting really good at it, it's not too bad. Back to the surgery on Friday, the worst part was getting an IV in. For some reason my forearm veins were being stubborn and the nurse had to poke me 4 times to finally get my vein to work! Sheesh. And before this I had to get my blood drawn, so getting poked a total of 5 times within an hour wasn't fun. After the IV was in, we went to the operating room where I lay on a table and they set up a curtain to block my view from where they would be putting the port in my chest. They gave me sedation drugs in my IV so I was very drowsy and out of it the entire time, although I did feel the two numbing shot's they gave me in my neck, that sort of hurt but after that I didn't feel a thing. I was in such bliss with that sedation. The surgery was fast, only about 30 minutes.

Me and Chels right before going in for surgery

 
Because my white blood cell count was so low from chemo, following my surgery we went to get a neupogen shot in my stomach. This stimulates white blood cells to help fight infections, sicknesses, fevers, etc. and the side effects of this shot are sore bones and joints. We also had to go in to the HCI Saturday and Sunday to have this same neupogen shot in order to prepare me for chemo the following week. The sore bones and joints weren't too bad Friday, Tylenol did a great job taking off the edge. After the shot on Saturday however, I felt like I got run over by a cement truck. My lower back, hips, and shoulders were very achy. Good thing we got prescribed a strong pain killer (Oxycodon) to help with Saturday and Sunday. After taking that I felt pretty good.

Starting today, I will have chemo Monday-Friday from about 7:30a-1:00p. Then 2 full weeks off, then we'll repeat that cycle 2 more times. The good news is no more bleomycin, which made me sick before. And no more getting poked in the arms. A huge blessing is my Mom is coming to town for 10 days, she got here today and it will be so nice to spend time with her... and to dump our beautiful girls onto her a little haha. Chels really needs to catch up on some sleep cause she's been carrying extra weight with me being tired. 

Thoughts: In John chapter 16, Jesus is speaking with his disciples about his death and resurrection, and how he has Heavenly Father by his side, and that the Holy Ghost or comforter will be sent to his disciples after his resurrection. John 16:33 stood out to me, the Savior says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." In this world and life, we are meant to be tested. We are meant to go through tough times, they will make us stronger. And if we rely on the Savior, being of good cheer is possible because He will help us through it. 

Cycle 1; Week 2 "The Wind"

Hi everyone, this is Chelsea (Stu's wife). We realized that it has been a while since there have been any updates on here so sorry about that. Things have been a little nuts around here. Overall, Stuart has been feeling OK. Mostly tired, and a little queasy here and there. I wont lie though week 2 has been rough. On Tuesday 2/2/16 Stuart went in for his infusion of Bleomycin  for this week. I'm going to be using that word a lot this post so to save myself the headache I'm just going to refer to this as B. This was a rough one. Stu came home around 10:00a or so and by 11:00a he was feeling pretty sick. He spent the rest of that day in bed. I gave him all three of the nausea medications that day and they all seemed to just barely take the edge off. While it was really hard to see him go through that I just kept thinking that it was just a means to an end and I tried to help him see it that way too. Fortunately, that day ended. Ha.

Then on Wednesday 2/3/16 he started feeling and looking better.  He took a nap from about 10:30a to 12:30p and when he woke up he told me that he was having some pain in his left arm where he had gotten his first IV last Monday. It looked a little swollen and felt a little warm when I touched it.  We figured that we would watch it close and if things progressed any further we would call the nurses at HCI. Well, things progressed. Around 5:00p just after dinner we noticed that the rash on his arm had started to travel up his bicep and that his shoulders had what looked and felt like a light sunburn on them. So we decided to call the nurses, and she told us that she wanted us to go to the Urgent Care up at the U of U; so off we went. And we were there for about 3hrs with hardly any answers. We did find out that his white blood cell count was low mostly bc after drawing his blood the entire staff taking care of us came in wearing a mask just to be safe, to keep Stu from getting sick. So finally around 11:00p we arrived home with only the answer that we would get a call from our oncologist the next day. So the next day a nurse called and set up an appointment for Stuart on Friday at 3p.

Stu at Urgent Care at the U of U

Friday, 2/5/16  lets call Friday "good news, bad news day". So we go to the appointment at HCI and filled our doctor in on what has been happening. I'll start with the bad news... Before ever starting chemo last week(week 1) they drew Stuart's blood and tested it for any signs of tumor markers. Up until now there hadn't been any but this time they found elevated levels of one called BHHC (I think). Anyways, that changed Stu's plan a little. Basically, now we know that those specs on Stu's lungs are in fact malignant(a fancy term for cancerous) and we are being switched from preventative care to actually treating him for cancer. This took him from a stage 1B to stage 3 cancer(ugh). So basically what that means is at least 2 more chemo cycles. We also discussed the rash on Stu's arm and shoulders and noticed that the "sunburn"  was also on the top of his head, as well as what looks like scratches on his stomach that are part of the rash that he is experiencing. Anyways what that meant was that he is essentially allergic to the B chemo drug, and that he would not be able to have any more of it. Which also means more chemo cycles. Bringing us to grand total of 4 cycles, so 3 more to go with only the "EP" part of the "BEP" regimen. I wish I could say I was done with the bad news... We also, discussed the swelling and soreness in Stuarts forearm. Which, after getting an ultrasound done on it ended up being a blood clot in a superficial vein. So now we get to give him blood thinners everyday twice a day for 6 weeks. The blood thinner greatly reduces the risk of the blood clot growing into a more important vein and causing him harm. So then in several weeks the blood clot will scar up and that vein will no longer be used. Good thing it is in a superficial vein. However, this also means that I get to give Stu a shot in the stomach twice a day. Oh joy.

So whats the good news? The good news is that the B drug is the drug that made Stuart the sickest and that's the one that we don't have to get anymore. Yay. The good news is that we are going to have a "port" surgically put in Stuart's chest so that he doesn't have to be poked a thousand times the next few months. And we wont have to worry so much about blood clots. The good news is that he still has an above 90% chance of getting rid of it. The good news is that we are in really good hands at HCI. And the good news is we still have the support and love from all of you. I won't lie we have had a rougher time looking at the bright side. But there is one and like my Dad said "It all leads to the same place right?" Right.

Lately we have been talking a lot about the story in Matthew 14 when Peter walks on the water. At first the disciples were on the ship being tossed about by the waves and the Savior walks toward them on the sea. Then He bade Peter to come to Him. Peter with all his faith steps on the water and begins to walk. He actually walks on the water! Then the wind comes. Peter looks around and gets scared. Then he starts to sink, and pleas for help."And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?"(Matthew 14:31). Sometimes I feel like Peter gets a lot of flak for sinking. But that is exactly what happens to all of us in every trial. I know right now we feel a lot like Peter. We have the faith to walk on the water and whether the storm of cancer treatment, but I promise you that there is going to be wind and we are going to get scared and sink just a little, because we are human. I promise you that we are going to need help. But I also promise you that the Savior will immediately help us, just as he would you. And with a gentle rebuke He will remind us that we can trust in Him.